Where did the black woman hating black man evolve from?? the answer may not shock you.

There is a new revolution affront. Black women are finally moving beyond their boundaries and dating out. They are finally abandoning the notion that the black woman has to hold the entire burden of the black community and are searching for happiness. However their reasons for the change leaves questions. Of course we know that currently, the American black man makes no apologies for disliking black women. They actually boast as to why they date out. And black women have finally retorted, exclaiming that they could care less. However questions abound. Why did these black men became black women haters in the first place? Where does this notion come from and who is to blame??? Now I know after I state how I feel about this I will get a lot of flack. But one of the few problems black women have is receiving new info. Not all, but some. So before  you get all heated hear me out ok?

72% of black women are single, meaning that most of these women are raising children. A mans first example of a woman Is through their mother. What we fail to admit or realize is black men are some of the most sensitive men in country. These are the same men that will curse you out for the old and the new if you do not acknowledge their attentions. So with that being said, If the first woman breaks their heart, being their mother, they are hurt for life. Angry in fact. Pile on the fact that black men know they are not considered masculine as their white counterparts, they start to cower, point fingers and instead of pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, they put all the blame on black women. And to some extent, it’s their fault. Black women coddle black men a great deal. I have seen them yell and scream at the female children and hardly ever show love to them. But they let the male child do what he wants. Black women are forced to be strong because they are raised that way. Its hardly ever common to see a black woman give kisses and hugs to her children, especially her female children. If I could get a penny for every time I heard a black woman yell at her kids. I question as to why they had kids in the first place. Anyways. This hate for black women is stemming from the lack of parenting of black men’s mothers. I know of two black men who are loving, hardworking black men. Married to black women. Yes! And the common denominator is that they hold total respect for their mothers. When I asked them as to why they are against the norm, to sum it up, they said that their mothers were on them to be the best, they gave them love and most interestingly told them of their history as a black person. My friend said "my mother would kiss me on my cheek  and told me she loved me, I would say yuck! But inside I was happy to be loved”  the other said. “when I was wilding out in the streets, my mother showed me graphic pictures of black men hung and beaten. She then told me of the story of Rosewood and people like Phillip A. Randolph and Harriet Tubman. She told me. All that we came through, and fought through, are their deaths and struggles in vain? When you disgrace yourself, you are disgracing our legacy.” He vowed to never be a bad boy again and is now in a lucrative job with a  lovely black wife.

I’m not telling you to feel sorry for the black men that constantly bash black women. They are a lost cause. But you do have a HEAVY responsibility to raise the next generation of black men to love themselves and black women so  the next generation will not have the problem we have had. Now some of you hate black men so much. You want to raise your daughters to date out as well. That is immature and silly. I have dated IR my entire life, the early 90’s when black women didn’t even give it a thought. I had my period where I wrote off black men as well. But after  I started to encounter black men that were actually good men and contributed to society. I had to think that to cut a segment off is to cut off opportunity. If I was single. I would have my options open giving me more possibilities to be with a outstanding man. Now, a black man like this hardly exists. I’m not going to lie. But they do. You just have to be savvy enough to tell. Keep your options open, by the way. The white man  is not the holy grail to happiness. (I will dedicate a post to this) there are plenty of men of all nationalities and cultures that can offer you the love you need. But in order for the next generation to have more choices its up to you. Raise the next generation of black men to be strong, proud and loving to black women. Our future generation will thank you for it!!